1. |
J.Hewitt - -=-
23:58
|
|||
2. |
Fancy Leathers
01:16
|
|||
And then they come for you.
-They Come for you.
All dressed in fancy leathers
-All dressed in fancy leathers
Extraditing your unwanted urges
to the recesses of your backward mind.
It flows through your veins
down to your scrotum
Makes your scrotum shrivel up like a raisin.
Makes your scrotum shrivel up like a raisin.
Down to your scrotum
Shrivel up like a raisin
(rest unintelligable, will be amended later)
|
||||
3. |
Not W/o Good Reason
03:20
|
|||
(Rock and Rock and roll, but not without good reason.
Rock and fuckin' roll, cause, 'tis the fuckin' season)
Completely convoluted
Cranially Polluted
Trading time and sense of self
for the honor of stocking a shelf.
But oh, the uncountable wealth.
Completely Convoluted
Cranially Polluted
(...)
Gonna bring it down to your lowly level.
Baby, ooh.
Gonna turn up the bass and leave the treble
where it is.
Broadswords were designed with men in mind.
Explain that to me.
Peaking Duck, duck, duck goose.
I heard you were leavin'
I warned you'bout leavin'.
I heard you were leavin'
I warned you 'bout leavin'.
|
||||
4. |
Vaccuduster
02:54
|
|||
Shimmy in the doodle-bop
Wake wake up
Speakeasy, talk hard
Talk hard, steal the airwaves
Vaccuduster
Similar circumstances, yes, but no flaming green eyes
Tears of melting butter streaming down a quivering, stony face.
Leaving a trail of pimples and pooling in your dimples...
Windshield w-w-w-wipeout
Bottom cluster
Vaccuduster
Bottom cluster
Bought the bottom, the applebottom
I butter my paper
I butter my lards
Walk the dinosaur, run the mammoth.
Walk the dinosaur, baby, run the mammoth.
Raking the leaf
Raking the hoe
Raking the leaf
Leafing the rake
Bottom cluster
Vaccuduster
Applebottom
Dust the duster
The vaccuduster
...When we touch, I feel their ghost carresses;
Your belly bloated with their essence
and my constant acquiescence...(repeating)
Round and round and round and round
Gene Krupa was an originator of the Big Band theory
Tommy Dorsey was into the big band theory
As a matter of fact don't let nothin' hold you back
If the Scatman can do it, brotha, so can you
Everybody stutters one way or the other
So check out my message to you
As a matter of fact, don't let nothing hold you back
If the Scatman can do it, brotha, so can you
I'm the Scatman
(scatting)
|
||||
5. |
This Attache Case
01:53
|
|||
Oh, marrionnette.
I'm a marionette.
They got this attache case.
They got this attache case.
A B C D E F G
and all the other letters
are coming after me
The attache case,
they got this attache case
They're putting it into a file.
They look at it after a while.
They got the sneeze and
They got the breeze and
They got this attache case
The attache case
The attache case
The attache case is handcuffed to them.
The sneeze, in the ass.
I put my head in the trashcan.
I wake up, I put my head in the trashcan.
|
||||
6. |
R E S P E C ULATION
02:32
|
|||
The weaker sex is the kind you forget.
Melon ballers make all the poor melons jealous.
That doesn't make you special.
No, not quite special.
Just speck.
A tiny speck.
Speck as in speculation
R E S P E C ulation
R E S P E C ulation
Older rhymes with bolder
Like the rock and also the way of acting
You know, acting.
Pretending
I'll listen to this when I'm older and think
What was I thinking
Well, I'm already older now and I sure don't know
But I could tell you one thing
Yeah, I could tell you one thing
But I decided to tell you several
Because I got time to tell you several
I dare you to think of something
that rhymes with several
Uh, level?
Psh, no.
Uh, Cape Caneverel? {sic}
Did you really think you could slip that by me?
Oh, I'm stumped.
Yeah, so's George Washington's dad's cherry tree!
But I don't see him crying about it.
No, you don't see him crying about it.
I wonder if, uh, in the old days...the town cryer, y'know?
If he was the sensitive type...
Yeah, girls like that.
Psh, bullshit. Anyway, sensitive..you know...
would he feel self conscious about crying about stuff? Since he was the town cryer?
Maybe that's how you become the town cryer in the first place.
Like they see you sitting around crying
at the local pub or what have you
and then they're all like
"hey, you're such a baby.
You should be the town cryer!"
Yeah, yeah and then he's all like,
"Well I could use the extra income."
Yeah, "Plus I hate being home, 'cause my wife's always throwing dictionaries at me and shit."
Busts of Beethoven
-----------------
Or Rachmaninoff.
Are you talking about that Jamaican rock band...
"Rock, Mon...Enough"?
|
||||
7. |
Digit Baby
03:29
|
|||
High five on that one, High five
Police Navidad
Police Navidad
They'll blow your brains out
and then you'll be no good.
A guy in a hat...what do you think about that?
Don't look now...or you're gonna see me.
Scratch yourself with a digit baby
Ooooh
Not tired or nothing
Not tired of nothing
Don't look now, or you're gonna see me.
Scratch yourself with a digit baby, oooh.
|
||||
8. |
OStritch Egg
01:31
|
|||
You will say, "I guess".
This was a man that you had hoped you would get
involved with.
He had been sending wave after wave of his misogynistic proteges after you for quite a while now.
It had been pissing you off and you really wanted a chance to show him what was really what; Scramble his shit all up, like a big ostritch egg.
You'd make him spin and spin.
You knew exactly what to say when you met him.
What you said at that point would start him spinning and every word after that would be fingertips drug across the side of him, to continue his revolving around the axis. The axis being your erect left nipple.
In spite of your excitement the right is completely soft, being kept warm in the center of his palm.
|
||||
9. |
Ten Leatherbound Volumes
02:09
|
|||
10. |
||||
11. |
||||
Ok, so we're on some kind of a date
Watching some tennis-related,
love-suspense-snoozefest
Just like in real life, there's no sign of love anywhere.
Not even in her eyes,
which only set on me when they absolutely have to.
Movie gets OK at the end.
Guy gets his hand crushed under a boulder
By whoever, the bad guy, I guess.
He starts to almost kill them, but the other dude
just fucking rips his hand off to get free of the boulder
and they do battle, etcetera.
Something about the girls father possibly being
behind it all, whatever.
Anyway,
then we're walking around after this movie and I'm trying to make small talk about how tall this nearby building is and "wouldn't it suck to be falling the length of it" or some such bullshit
and I'm trying real hard to close the distance,
but I can't tell if it's working.
All of a sudden, a handful of clearly-devolved
prep-type couples walks up the stairs beside us
just as I'm finally getting her to submit to a
somewhat-loving, kinda-caress-type-hug.
Her head quite noticeably turns around on my shoulder and even all the way around my head to watch these people pass.
Eventually she breaks with me and follows after them.
I follow shortly thereafter, thinking, "What if I'm about to walk in here and see her doing something ungraceful; Whorish, even?"
Well, just a few short steps tell me I needn't bother with the 'what if?'s or the benefit of any doubts, because she's riding a collapsible TV tray in a very provocative manner.
Then...
Blah blah blah...
Not even begging her to let me get a word in edgewise works.
As if that was any different than it always is.
I finally get her to stop yapping long enough to say,
"Imagine my disappointment" and then
she walked off, what was presumably,
the face of the earth.
Or something similar.
Everywhere there were these horrible little bugs.
Big for bugs, really; with these long hooking tails
or stingers coming out of them.
They'd get all over you and under your clothes and ceaselessly, subtly poke you.
Insofar as I could gather, they didn't break the skin.
They'd just wrap all up in the fibers of a sock
and poke poke poke.
I was picking them out of my clothes,
in the dark for hours
When I noticed some large tears
in one of the sliding screen doors.
I thought,
"I have to fix this. But if I put duct tape over it, I might lose my deposit. Then again, do I even live here?"
I look at my back in two mirrors
and see another one in my shirt.
It was more disgusting, than anything else.
|
Damian Webb recommends:
If you like Damian Webb, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp